I’ve been thinking a lot lately of what it means to matter to someone, and to have that person matter right back. Family, friends, partners, even strangers – they all touch our lives in some way or another.
Obviously, this is accompanied by joy and companionship and love and whole lot more. But what happens when things change — when (we are treated as if) we don’t matter anymore, or at least not like we used to?
A long time ago, someone told me the only person you can depend on is yourself. The idea struck me as terribly sad and not at all true. The older I get, though, the more I see this might be the case.
I am a person who holds myself and others to an extremely high standard. I try to do what I say I’ll do; to never purposely hurt anyone; and to not only wipe clean the slate for others, but to make amends when I do wrong.
So when someone who matters lets me down in a way that matters, too, I am conflicted: do I wipe the slate clean, or do I see the writing on it? Relationship preservation, or self-preservation?
The flip side of this, of course, is that life is complicated, and everyone deserves slack. I need it on pretty much a daily basis. And sometimes people mess up, or are messed up, and that isn’t necessarily their fault. Besides, is the alternative being completely alone?
What do you think?
